Other Tidbits I Forgot

Austin went out and bought a new bike and kiddie trailer, and we had our first family bike rid on July 30th.  We made it through our neighborhood, and then felt like we might die, so we headed home.  Baby steps, right?  JJ loved riding in the back!

 

We've had more storms this summer than I can remember in a long time.  We spent some time in the basement on June 23rd waiting out yet another tornado warning.  Our basement also flooded June 6th, so we spent a lot of time getting that cleaned up and dried out.

 

Austin had a milestone on June 20th... his first father's day!  We had brunch with his parent's and JJ.  A nice time was had by all.

 

JJ had his first ride in a swing on July 3rd.  We also attempted to put him down the slide, but he wanted nothing to do with that...lol.  Smart kid.

 

JJ LOVES the Pure Imagination commercial from AT&T.  It's the Willy Wonka song, with lots of colored drawings wandering around in a downtown.  Every time that commercial comes on, he stops whatever he is doing, and intently watches until it's done.  I really need to get it on video.

 

JJ also makes all sorts of funny noises.  He opens his mouth super wide, and makes a coughing noise, which he thinks is hilarious.  He can click his tongue on the roof of his mouth, and he can make kissing noises.  So cute!

 

June 4th - second tooth popped through.  I can now see some top teeth that are about to break through.

 

A Month Has Passed

Well, I think I need to put a reminder up to start making sure I post to this blog! Things JJ has done since the last post. He can now say "more" when he wants food, and he was sick the last week of June, and wasn't sleeping well. He got up one night around 11:30 or so, and stood up on Austin, and he was smacking his arm trying to wake him up. The noises he was making became more and more urgent, and he finally yelled "GET UP!". Austin and I looked at each other like, did he just say that?? Then, he said it again. I can't get him to do it again, but I swear he did it! He's becoming more brave when he pulls himself up now. He let's go often, moves from item to item, and has things in his hands many times when he tries to get up. I was at my sister's yesterday, and he started to climb the stairs all by himself (I found out that he does this with Austin in the basement when I'm not home :P). He made it all the way to the top with my help. He did this around June 19th as well. He's a strong little guy!

He was 11 months on the 13th, and we mailed out the invitations to his 1st birthday party on August 14th. I can't believe it's already been a year!! People told me it would fly by, but really, this was like warp speed.

In my news, I started Weight Watchers almost 2 weeks ago now. I am at my highest weight ever, and it's time to do something about it. I was shocked after I had JJ, all the weight I had gained (about 30 lbs), fell off in about 2 weeks! I was breastfeeding as much as I could (which wasn't much), and I think that helped. As soon as I stopped, the weight crept back, not all of it, but 20 lbs. I have a long road ahead, but if I stick to it, I should meet my goal by end of November. I am not going to militant in meeting this date, but as long as I continue to see changes, I will be happy. The next step is to start exercising again. Hmm.

We are taking a vacation at the end of this month. First stop Mackinac Island, then Alpena. I am sooooooo looking forward to it!

I think that's about it for now. Hopefully I'll remember to talk to you next week :)

So Far Behind

See, I knew this would happen. It's been 3 weeks since I've posted! I need to go back and check my emails, Facebook, and dig deep into the failing memory to get caught up. In the meantime, I wanted to make sure I put something out here. Let me at least try to get the past week down in history.

So, yesterday, JJ had one of the worst blowout diapers I've ever seen in his 10 months. His diapers have been smelling a little sour since Saturday (nice, right?), so I figured he had a little bug. He didn't poop at all on Monday, and he made up for it, let me tell you. He woke up and had his bottle, and then we got out of bed and I put him in his exersaucer so I could get his things together to go to his aunt's house for the day. Well, I came around the corner with an outfit to change him into, and I looked down, and it looked like pureed baby food on the bottom of the exersaucer. It took me a few seconds, and then it dawned on me what happened... Austin was standing there, and I looked at him and said "Do you see what happened here??" He has a weak stomach when it comes to these things, so he was immediately grossed out. Especially since JJ's feet were smearing, slipping and sliding in it.... blech. Needless to say, he got rinsed off and bathed, and so did the exersaucer.

When things settled and they left for the day, I went to make myself some coffee. We have a Keurig coffee maker, which uses K-cups. Austin had used the last one! Let me tell you, something took over my body, because I took the used one out of the machine and CHUCKED it against the wall. I called him in a fit, and bitched him out for using the last one. He called me back about 5-10 minutes later, and told me to come outside and wait in the driveway. Do you know he went to McDonald's and brought me back a coffee AND breakfast made just the way I like it? All was forgiven.

JJ is pulling himself up on everything now with ease, and is starting to let go with one hand to pick things up, reach out to grab things, etc. Before I know it, he'll be taking his first steps!

Oh, I heard him get mad for the first time last night. It was quite funny. He pulled himself up on the chair that his booster seat is strapped to. He loves to chew on the buckle, and it wasn't quite long enough to reach his mouth. So he was "yelling" at it! Oh my, does it really start this early?

9 Months

My how the time flies. We had JJ's 9 month appointment on 5/19. He weighs in at 21 lbs and is 28.5 in long. Doc says everything is looking good. Now, if I could just set up an appointment for his 9 month pictures.... Seeing how I didn't take his 6 months until he was 3 days shy of 7 months, I still have a couple more weeks.

Friday, we went up to our friend's bar to celebrate her 30th birthday. That was fun, and ended with her mother's famously yummy cake.

I was able to go to a nice girl's night on Sat. Mexican themed dinner - YUM!

Went to Costco on Sunday to get the convertible car seats as JJ will be done with the infant one in another pound. They carry Safety 1st 3 in 1 seats there for $85, a nice discount from the other baby stores. Well, we get them home, and Austin tries to install them in my Jeep and his truck. These things are HUGE. My passenger seat would have to be all the way forward for this thing to fit. It didn't even fit in his truck. So, those are going back. I guess we'll have to suck it up and get a couple smaller ones from Target or BRU. After we returned home, I swear my child repeated the word "up" to me.

Monday after work, I went to my sister's to watch over my mother after her colonoscopy (which I didn't quite get, but anyway). She started talking and didn't stop till I took her home. But, my point is, while I was there, JJ was apparently responding to someone waving at him by waving back!

Yesterday, working at my mom's house, she gave him an empty Kleenex box to play with. She kept saying "box" to him, and it sounded like he said it back!

My kid is a freaking genius! Or, since I haven't read that far ahead in What to Expect the First Year, this could all be completely normal ;)

Oh, and in "Inappropriate Things my Mother Says" news, as I was leaving her house yesterday carrying JJ out in his infant seat, she looked at me and said "you should be a lot thinner now" (implying that cause he's so heavy and that I have to carry him, I should be losing weight). I looked at her like "bitch, what did you just say??", and she repeated herself!! Then added "it never worked for me either". Um, OK, like that's going to make it all better. Sigh.

Some Me Time

I know it's been a couple of weeks since I last posted. That is because I went on a trip to Vegas with my best friend who we will call Sasha. We left the morning of the 10th, and arrived home on the morning of the 14th, and when I say morning, I mean 7AM since we took the red eye home. As they say, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas ;) I will say I am still tired, and can't seem to catch up from the jet lag, and it's been 4 days. Just. need. sleep.

JJ is crawling like a champ and attempting to pull himself up on everything now! Yesterday he mastered the pack and play, which was hard since there isn't really anything to grab onto in there. I find him all the time now standing up in his crib waiting for one of us to get him. He's a man on the go. We have his 9 month check up tomorrow morning. My how the time is flying! I only have 3 months till he's 1. I need to start really thinking of birthday party themes....

JJ sat in a wagon for the first time this past Saturday, although no one moved it. He also got a little bit rosey on his cheeks and arms as we were out at a charity walk. I thought I had shaded him pretty well, but apparently not. I purchased some sunscreen for him after that.

In other news, I am attempting to do a cleanse with Austin's sister and her friend. I am failing miserably. Today was a cleanse day, and I wasn't supposed to have any animal protein. Well, when there are leftover ribs in the fridge from Texas Roadhouse calling my name, it's just now a fair game. I'll do better tomorrow, I swear (fingers crossed behind back).

The Week of Many Milestones

I'm a bit behind. I'll do my best to catch up now.

Friday, April 23rd, JJ's dad, who going forward I will call Austin, went up north with my brother-in-law to his hunting cabin. For those of you who aren't Michiganders, up north is the place to be in the spring, summer and fall. Kid Rock refers to it in his song, "it was summer time in Northern Michigan". Anyway, as he's getting things ready to go, Austin says to me, "I'm gonna miss that little guy. What do you bet he starts crawling while I'm gone?" To which of course, I roll my eyes because really, what are the odds? Yes, JJ is very close to crawling. As we know from previous posts regarding JJ and the remote, he is managing to move forward, but not really in a full on crawl.

I guess I should have gone to the tracks.

Friday night, I met my friend Patty for some shopping at Kohl's, and dinner after. Poor JJ, we didn't get to the store till 8, I think, and we didn't get home from dinner till after 11, perhaps even closer to midnight. Bad mom moment :/

Saturday, we got up and and JJ was fussy. I decided to take him for a walk since I saw that there were kids playing soccer at the park across the street from us. It was rainy and cold, but that wasn't stopping me. We wandered around the park for a bit, went over to the petting zoo, and came home. Since the boys were up north, I packed up everything but the kitchen sink and went to my sister's for a little slumber party.

Sunday, I got up and went to church with my mom (which could be a whole different blog...), had lunch with my brother and kids, and then headed back to my sister's house. And that's when it happened. I was making JJ a bottle, and I looked over, and there it was. 3 little crawls. Holy.Lord.Above. I can't describe the feeling I had in my heart when I saw that. It was a mixture of joy, amazement, pride, and terror. How do I tell Austin that JJ crawled while he was up north? Why did he have to predict this?

I did what I think most other parents would do... I lied, kinda. I took no video, I tried to pretend like JJ wasn't really crawling, more like just pulling himself along. I let JJ try to show Austin, but he didn't do it again. He pulled both legs under himself at the same time, but it wasn't the same crawl I saw.

Monday night, I went to softball, and Austin informed me that it was time to lower the crib as JJ had figured out how to pull himself up and was hanging 1/2 way over the side by the time Austin realized what was going on.

Tuesday, JJ crawled for both of us. This is when I posted it on Facebook as the first time it happened. Isn't it weird how competitive new parents are on Facebook? It's like a game to see who's kid can do what first. And there have to be pictures of it, video, witnesses, written affidavits, etc. How strange our lives have become!

I digress. Wednesday, JJ was super fussy. I thought perhaps he was getting sick again, so being the good mom I am, I gave him a dose of Infant's Tylenol. That kid slept maybe a grand total of an hour the whole day, and tossed and turned all night.

Thursday, I had JJ home with me since my sis-in-law had a field trip with my niece. I felt in his mouth as I usually do to see if any teeth had magically arrived. Well, hot diggity dog - one had! No wonder he was so fussy... it all makes sense now.

Remember how I was such a good mom and gave him Tylenol? Come to find out, both bottles I have in the house were recalled on Saturday due to manufacturing deficiencies. WTF? Supposedly no adverse side effects, but who really knows?

Oh, there was a milestone for me and Austin yesterday too. We had our first date night (without meeting up with friends) since JJ was born. Last minute called Austin's mom, went to dinner at Texas Roadhouse, and saw the movie Date Night. How nice to do something adult! We met Patty at karaoke and went home after about an hour and half.

I know that was a quick recap, but it's 10:30PM on a Sunday night, the Red Wings are playing playoff hockey, and I'm tired! I'll talk to you soon.

My first bad mom moment, and my 1,000,000th bad person moment

So, this past Friday, I had to work from my mom's as I had training to attend in the morning, and she would watch JJ while I worked. I was also having a couple of friends over that evening who hadn't seen JJ in a while, so I had to rush home from "work". We got home, and I started a mad rush on cleaning. JJ was in a fussy mood, so I had to try to feed him, entertain him, and clean all at the same time. I tried to get him to take a nap, but that wasn't working either. Finally, I got everything done, even a shower, and went and laid down with him. I thought he was asleep, so I got up, put pillows around him (YES, he naps in our bed, and this has been our normal practice since he was born), and went to see my friends who had shown up in the mean time.

We're in the kitchen, drinking beer, eating guacamole, and chatting, when all of the sudden, D says, "is that Jack?". All got quiet, and we hear the worst crying I have ever heard before. JJ's dad ran into the room, and brought him back into the kitchen, still bawling his eyes out. He said, "he was on the floor." Now, JJ's dad can be a bit of a joker, so I thought he was pulling my leg at first. Turns out, he was not. JJ rolled out of our bed!! I felt, and actually still do feel, horrible. I made JJ's dad call the doctor, and she told us babies are resilient, and to watch for him to throw up, be lethargic (mind you, it's 8PM at this point!), if he falls asleep and we can't wake him up, if he acts "out of it". He cried for a few minutes, and then he was back to his old self. We kept looking for a lump to appear, but there was nothing. There was a red spot on the top of his head about the size of a quarter, but that was it. I kept checking him throughout the night to make sure he was OK, and that I could wake him.

Almost a week later, no problems, thank God!

Saturday I head out to Frankenmuth with my mom and sisters. I tell them the story about JJ falling. L tells me not to worry as her son rolled out of bed, and rolled down the stairs twice. DD scolds me for having JJ in our bed. She is 20 years older than me, so I suppose she feels like she is my mother. My mom is just concerned (she called me for days afterward to see how he was doing). Later in the day, DD again starts laying into my about JJ being our bed, and how it wouldn't have happened if he had never started sleeping in our bed in the first place. When you try to argue with DD, forget it - she is ALWAYS right. It gets heated, and she says, "well, if he rolls out again, you can bet I'll be mad and you'll hear about it." Um, ok DD. You'll be the first person I call WHEN IT HAPPENS AGAIN. WTF, like I'm going to even let that happen again. I usually just let her rants roll off, but this time I couldn't. I told her in front of everyone that I felt she said to intentionally hurt me and be mean. She, of course, denied it. Eventually she apologized. Nice that she made me feel even worse than I already did.

Family is a funny thing. They're either 100% for you, or they'll rip your head off like you're a dandelion. DD and I got into at Easter too, where she accused me of excluding her for many years, and how she knew that L, K (SIL) and I got together all the time without her. I don't know why I was her target, but she laid into me. It all got worked out in the end, but I suspect I was feeding her as much BS as she had just dumped on me.

In other news, I decided that I was going to block JJ's aunt from seeing anything I posted on Facebook since her FB antics just piss me off. Well, little did I know that in the process of doing that, it would totally hide my wall from her. I was out at Costco with a friend on Sunday, and I checked FB from my phone. I see that I have a message from her telling me she couldn't see my wall, and had she said or done something to make me mad. OH SHIT. I came up with a story about how I tried to block an old acquaintance with the same name, and chose her name by mistake. I reinstated the ability for her to see my posts, and I think she bought it, but who knows? Perhaps she knows I was lying, but I really don't care at this point. I was venting to my BFF about it, and she said, "why don't you just hide her posts? It's what she puts out there that really bothers you." Genius!! Why didn't I think of that. So hide her I did.

Monday night we started our girl's softball league. I haven't played since 2008, as I was pregnant with JJ last summer. I was a little scared, and more than a little rusty. Turns out, the manager didn't having me in the batting order, and I rotated every other inning at 1st base. I guess that's a way to ease back into it.

Other JJ news.... he sat in a cart for the first time when we went to Costco on Sunday! He was so darn cute with his little U of M baseball cap on. Everybody said hi to him, and so many people told me how cute he was :) He was very good right up until the end, and then he got tired. He fell asleep in the car almost immediately.

He's also turned into a pro at holding his own bottle. As a matter of fact, I am watching him hold one right now all by himself!

We also discovered a new way to make him laugh. On Sunday, we were changing the sheets on the bed, and he was fussy, so put him on the bed, and then put the sheet completely over him, then fluffed it up. He just thinks this is the funniest thing ever! It works with blankets too. His arms and legs get going, and he does his dog pant, and his eyes get really big, and he just cracks up! Oh, the things that amuse the little guy :D

Sports, Milestones and Giggles

Well, we went to the last Red Wing home game last Wednesday, and what a game it was! The Wings came back from a 3-1 deficit to win 4-3, with 3 goals within minutes in the 3rd period (there was a good fight in there too). We also had passes into the Olympia Club, which is a member's only club. We still had to pay for everything, but it was cool to be in there. We also witnessed a way past her prime cougar and friend get kicked out for being drunk and belligerent. Good game all around ;)

Friday, we headed downtown for Opening Day. First stop - the Fillmore for drinks with my brother, sister-in-law, and friends. Over to Elwood to give my friends a parking pass. Then into the game where we froze our asses off! Headed into the beer hall for some warmth and snacks. After the game, went to Loco for some tasty Mexican food, then over to Astoria for the best dessert! A few went into Greektown to try their hand at lady luck, but I decided to wait outside. Finally, went and picked up JJ, and then over to my brother's for a bit so JJ's dad could give my nieces and nephews some trinkets he picked up at the ball park. Home again by 11PM. Whew... long day, but too much fun!

In JJ news - he got a good grip on holding his bottle on Easter Sunday, and really grabbed for it last night. I'm kind of relieved, but can't believe how big he is getting! So big in fact, that he pulled himself to the side of his pack & play and probably would have gone over if his dad hadn't have grabbed him. We also found this past Sunday that he has an obsession with the remote control. So much so that we tried to put him on the floor to see what he'd do, and he semi army crawled to get it! I guess it's good we found something to motivate him to crawl, but the remote? Who knew the love affair could start at such a young age...

I love to hear JJ laugh! The simplest things make him crack up. Yesterday, it was a game of me taking his burp cloth away from him and saying "whoosh". Laugh out loud giggles, sometimes so hard that his eyes would close :) Later in the night, JJ's dad and I were making our bed, so we laid him on it, and billowed the top sheet over him. Such excitement - eyes big, arms going! So cute!

Irritant

It's been a week since I've been out here. JJ is back to his normal self again. Today is the last day for the ointment, so that's kind of nice. In other JJ news, I could have sworn he said "ma ma" on Saturday, but not sure if he knew what it meant. I also had to take him to the doctor last Friday as he had been coughing all week, and not sleeping well. Turns out he has an ear infection... mmm, more of the yummy pink medicine for the next 1o days (eyes rolling).

We had a busy weekend. Friday night, we went to a birthday party for a friend and got some nice time with other adults. Saturday we went and attempted to pick out JJ's 6 month pictures (which were more like 7 month pictures as I am lazy), and we didn't get very far. Had them print up some of JJ with bunnies and eggs for the family we'd see Sunday. Then we went to my sister's to watch the NCAA final four game that MSU lost. Ha! (I am a U of M fan). Sunday, we went to church, then to lunch with JJ's dad's family, then back to their house, then back to my mom's. Dear Lord, that was a lot of driving!

Ok, so onto the irritant part. While at JJ's dad's family's house, JJ's aunt took a bunch of pictures of him. I get this as she's a first time aunt, and very excited that JJ is here on this earth. I did the same thing with my nieces and nephews. However, once we left the house, she proceeded to post all of these pictures on Facebook, and put "JJ's first Easter. It was last year on this day that we found out that there was going to be a little JJ. Now look at us!"

Um......

Does anyone else see anything wrong with this? First, she posted his first Easter pictures before I even had a chance to. Second, she put it out on Facebook for a bunch of people I don't know, and some that I do, when it was that I decided to tell everyone that I was pregnant. Third, she referred to him as "us". It just sounds like something I should be saying about the whole situation.

JJ's aunt and Facebook drive me nuts! She posts every single detail of her life, no matter how
mundane it may be, and often times posts other people's news without even giving it a second thought. Anytime JJ happens to be at their house (she lives at home with mom and dad, and other brother), she's posts about it. If she babysits, she posts about it. If I put pictures out, she re-posts them. I get that she's trying to be a good aunt, but she's stealing my thunder and pissing me off. I happen to think that she's also alienating my family and friends by all of her JJ posts.

I should have known she would be an issue when she friended me after only a month or two of me and JJ's dad dating. She then friended my friends that were at the hospital when JJ was born. She posted every excruciating detail of my labor and delivery.

JJ's dad said he'd say something to her because I told him what she had done this time with the Easter pics. Hopefully it will nip this in the bud. I hate to start a family feud over a person's inconsiderate Facebook habits. Ugh.

In other news...

Before the phone call from my sister-in-law, I had been talking to my sister about religion. Specifically, the fact that we were brought up in a Lutheran household, and have long carried the guilt that goes along with being raised that way. We talked about our kids, and what we should tell them as far as religion is concerned. Her kids are almost 11 and 13, so they are asking the deep questions. I still have some time as mine isn't even 1 yet.

Or so I thought.

It is a serious topic of discussion for my mother about when I am going to get JJ baptized. To be honest, I have been avoiding it. I don't want to pick Godparents as I don't want to alienate anyone, and I don't want to pick anyone because they think it is a given that they will be. I also don't want to talk to the pastor at the church I belong to, because I rarely go, and JJ's dad and I are not married but are living together. These are all things that are frowned upon in church life. To me, this event is more of a ritual than anything. Depending on who I pick, the Godparents would not necessarily be the same people that would raise JJ if I met an early demise. Again, as with making all necessary medical decisions for JJ, I need to just bite the bullet and do this.

My sister says that she has something to tell me, and that I am sworn to secrecy. Hmm - ok. She proceeds to tell me that our mother has baptized my son in the kitchen sink because she didn't want him to go any longer without it being done.

I don't know if I should laugh, cry, or be mad. Does my mother really think it is her right as a Christian to just go ahead and baptize him because I haven't done it yet? Would she just pluck an atheist's kid from the crowd and baptize him because the parents hadn't? What if I had decided I wasn't going to do it? Oh well, mom took care of that for me.

Anxiety

So, I've always been an anxious person, sometimes to a fault. Health anxiety used to be a huge issue for me, but as I got older, I mellowed out. However, now that I have another human being that I am responsible for, it's all back, and with a vengeance. I find that I hate having to call the doctor when something is wrong with JJ. Even if it's something minor, I just hate the whole process. I want JJ's dad to make the call. I want him to be responsible for that part of JJ's life. I know it's irrational, but it's my reality. I also know that won't happen, so I need to just put my fear aside and take charge.

My sister-in-law called today (she babysits while I work), and said she doesn't think JJ's procedure is healing correctly. She's had two sons, and one had similar issues and had to have his redone. She asks if they told us to pull back on skin while it was healing. No! I don't want to go through this again, so I'm hoping she's wrong. Anyway, of course, this will require a call to the doctor since his follow up isn't until May 5th. I call my sister before I call the doctor, because that's just what I do - I get opinions from at least 5 different people before I make any decision in my life. Do I want swiss or cheddar? Let me call so-and-so and see if they know which tastes better on a burger. It consumes me, but I digress. She says I should call the doctor. Noooooooooo, that is not what I want to hear. I want to hear, I'm sure it's fine, just leave it be till the follow up. She also asks if they told us to put the antibiotic cream deep into the folds, etc. I said no. I followed the instructions from the doctor to a T. Then I call JJ's dad. He says to call the doctor. Now, I'll say this just irks me cause, I am working during the day too! He could just as easily call, but it's always me. Perhaps my anxiety is more of a power struggle? Anyway, I finally call the doctor. Someone took a message and a nurse is going to call me back. It's difficult because I don't know how to explain what it looks like as he's not home with me at the moment; all I know is that it didn't look swollen or infected.

I'm sure I'll be off to another doctor's appointment in the near future. It all just makes my head spin.

Just when you thought it was safe to go in the water...

So, the surgery went well. In fact, JJ didn't cry before, after, that night, the whole next day. I thought "what a trooper this kid is"! He also didn't poop. Someone told me that codeine makes them constipated. OK, well that was actually a good thing as it kept the yuckies away from the incision site. The after care instructions said take the bandage off on Thursday, which is today.

OH.MY.GOD.

I went to change him as he had finally pooped (hard poop, by the way). As I was wiping him, he pooped some more. That was ok too. I just let him finish what he needed to do, and then I thought that I'd take the bandage off then and get him nice and lubed up with Neosporin.

OH.MY.GOD.

I started taking the bandage off slowly, and as I got down to where it was on his skin, it was a little stuck in the scab that is forming. That poor child screamed and started crying. I took the rest of it off, and saw what no mother wants to see. Her little man all red and scabbed up. I put a glob of Neosporin on as quickly as I could, and put a diaper on him. I'm sure that didn't help as it was then rubbing on the diaper and irritated. Lots more crying. I thought a dose of his pain meds would be appropriate, so I ran to the kitchen and served him up some Tylenol w/codeine. This was at 11:40. He just now fell asleep at 1:20.

The dr. made it seem like he'd be great by today, back to playing in his bouncy, rolling around, etc. Um?

I hate feeling like I made the wrong decision. I wonder if he'll hate me forever for the pain he's now in (I know he won't remember, but perhaps he will subconciously??). I envy moms who have girls at this moment.

Surgery

JJ goes in for outpatient surgery tomorrow at 7:45AM. We have to be to the hospital at 6:45, which means we'll have to be up by 5ish, I'd say. He can have formula till 1:45 AM thank God. I was thinking the cutoff would be much earlier in the night, which would have resulted in a crabby baby in the morning. Actually, he can have water, apple juice and/or Pedialyte till 4:45, so although I don't usually wake him up to feed him anymore, I may just do tonight to make sure he's got a full belly.

I pretend I am a strong person, but right now I'm very anxious. They are putting him under, which is kind of freaking me out. The surgery is scheduled for 1 hr, 15 min, and the nurse told me that it's a fast acting anesthesia that will go through a mask. As soon as they turn it off, he could wake up. I think I like that better than deep sleep, but really, who knows? I'm no expert at this stuff. Just a mom who wishes her baby didn't have to do this.

The Backstory

It probably helps to know a little bit about our story. I am 34 years old, and my son, who we shall refer to as JJ, is 7 months, 6 days old today.


I found out I was pregnant at around 3AM on New Year's Eve, 2008. Technically, my best friend and I went out for drinks on Dec 30th, and when I got home, it was after midnight. I had suspicions that something was up since I am like clockwork, and I was now going on 3 days late. I stopped on the way to going out at Meijer for a test, but wasn't planning on taking it till the next morning, or perhaps, a few days later. Well, a little liquid courage talked me into taking right then and there at 3AM. There is no way to describe what happens while waiting for the results of a pregnancy test. You always feel a bit nervous, but in the back of your mind, you know it's going to be negative. So, when the word "Pregnant" popped up on the screen (I took no chance of being wrong with the little blue line tests - you all know what I mean), I think I had an out of body experience. It probably didn't help that I was a *bit* tipsy. I would like to tell you that was the happiest moment of my life, but anyone that grew up in a religious household knows, that even at the age of 33, being unmarried and pregnant = GUILT. So much guilt, in fact, that I didn't tell my mom and most of my family and friends until April. Thank God for the supportive friends and family I did tell, and of course to my loving partner who stood by me even though he could have run the other direction.


Fast forward to August 2009. JJ is born 3 weeks and 2 days early, weighing in at 6lbs 8oz, 19 inches long at 8:29 PM via c-section after hours of trying to push his Charlie Brown head past my pubic bone. He did not want a conehead, apparently, because he would not progress. After seeing that sweet little face, I cannot fathom how I felt so guilty about him. It makes me want to rewind and truly enjoy the whole experience more. It makes me know that I will never make my son feel guilty about certain things in life. It will force us to have honest conversations about things that my mom and dad didn't have with me.

Fast forward to March 19, 2010. JJ is waking from a nap in our bed (oh, the horror, we have a family bed!). There he is smiling up at me, spit up on his chin, and also on the freshly laundered sheets. This is the life :)

My attempt to keep track of my little man's moments

I have come to accept that I am not a scrapbooking kind of mom. I take tons of pictures, but rarely print them. I keep track of major milestones in my calendar, when I remember... I realized long ago I need something quick and easy to jot down things I'd like to remember from my son's young months and years. So, this will be the start of his "baby book" if you will.

I am assuming most people will find this sleep inducing, and it's probably more for my benefit than anyone else's, but hey, maybe another mom will read this and we can share a common experience.

My goal will be to login here and try to post whenever something happens that I find newsworthy, or at least once a week. Hey, maybe I'll also include some things happening in my life (in other words, I may vent out here). I am so grateful that the cyberworld has places like this that make blogging so easy.